Second choice job was going ok when first choice job finally, finally called and that’s where I am now. I’m so happy to be here! 2nd place was across the street from my old job from many years ago and I was terrified of running into former coworkers. I imagined them gathering around me like sharks, but it’s more likely I would have been ignored or vaguely remembered.
My first obsession with the past took place when I was 21. I used to agonize over life right out of high school and the things I did and people I knew. At 21! The time I now remember as being the best time ever! I started obsessing about those early 90’s times after I had a kid. They really were the best. I regret not relishing them, but I thought they would last forever. I thought I had finally gotten comfortable in my skin and figured out the world. I pined over them for years.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve pined over those years. The boring years. The steady job, husband, house, kid years. I whined and tried to find myself and spent money. Everyday I spent money on things that are extravagant to me now like magazine and lattes. I ate out every single day. I miss that. I miss always have a couple of twenties to blow when the opportunity came up.
Things would have to be really bad for me to later miss the right-now. I’ll have to be paralyzed or imprisoned. Things are better now than they had been (I miss Knoxville, but am glad to be out) and I feel I’m on the right track. I’m excited about the future now and not thinking of the past much at all.
